The medical team preparing the program of next year’s European Congress of Mathematics in Berlin has declared that algebraic number theory, along with closely related branches of mathematics, may have entered a phase of terminal decline in Europe. The team was only able to locate a single indisputably live mathematician to represent arithmetic geometry, the Langlands program, and most areas of algebraic geometry, as well as algebraic number theory.
Reported sightings of itinerant algebraic number theorists and arithmetic geometers along a swath of European territory stretching at least from Transylvania to northern England are being investigated by competent authorities. Researchers are advised to take precautions in the light of reliable warnings that undead arithmeticians and algebraic geometers, including Europeans, are making plans to congregate repeatedly and in large numbers in the months leading up to the Berlin event, notably in the Rocky Mountains and in the Upper Thames Valley.
A second medical team is presently checking vital signs and investigating symptoms and is scheduled to report its findings on July 18 [note correction] of next year. What the future holds in store for European algebraic number theory and similarly structured branches of mathematics — whether there is a future — will be clearer at that time.